Who am I?

I am a 27 year old man. I live in Washington, Pennsylvania at 52 W Katherine Avenue. I have a wife, Allison, and a dog, Rugby. I am a partner at the Starbucks here in town. Most of my family lives over nine hundred miles away - or I guess I live nine hundred miles away from most of my family. I am a college student studying graphic design. Among most other things I am not very different than most 27 year old men trying to follow Jesus Christ.

A couple of weeks ago the question was asked in Church " what is your purpose in life?"

A couple of days ago I was asked to describe someone's personality in two words. Two words? I can't even describe my own personality and definitely not in two words.

This morning I decided to memorize Matthew five, three thru ten. I have always loved the first part of Jesus' first teachings when he climbed a mountain with his disciples - commonly known as "the beatitudes" (I don't even know what that means). This passage lists eight character traits of which Jesus said one would be blessed seven different ways if one possesses these very traits. Here are the eight traits and seven blessings:

poor in spirit have the kingdom of heaven
mournful will be comforted
meek will inherit the earth
desiring to be righteous will be filled
merciful will receive mercy
pure in heart will see God
peacemaker is called the son of God
persecuted for righteousness have the kingdom of heaven

Who am I?

None of these.

I am filled with things that are most of the time completely opposite of these character traits. This is not to say that I desire every day to be the best man I can be. But quite frequently I fall short. My thoughts are evil. My words aren't uplifting. My attitude is negative. I am just a mess.

I wonder where I would fall in one of Jesus' descriptions of the people he was around - Pharisee, sinner, tax collector? I know who I want to be.

But who am I really. What am I chasing? What am I trying to live up to? What is my purpose?

Who am I?

Describe your personality in two words. I don't think I want to.

p.s. If you read this, thank you. Thank you for putting up with my rant. This post was for me. These thoughts are what have been circling around in my head all day.

I love my wife.

I guess this is a given. We have been married for three and a half years. We have had some great times together - times that make you smile and want more. We have stayed together through these times. We made the decision to follow God to PA. God brought us even closer through that.

Most people say that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Not so with us - that would be year three. But God made our love for each other even stronger.

She has stayed close to me through my failures and faults.

She has loved me when I am my worst. Which screams of her love for me and her Lord.

Last week we had one of "those weeks." You know the ones that you will remember for a long time. A week that can be compared to our first week together (which was on a beach in Jamaica, which is pretty hard to beat). Nothing big happened. We together were just firing on all cylinders.

And now as I think of her I long to be the man God called me to be. A man that is firm, moved be nothing. A man that loves for no reason. A man that loves because he wants to love with a love determined by nothing more than a desire to give himself more and more each day.

A man that loves with a God kind of love. A love that is in all things just by nature.

So Allison - I love you. I love you with a God kind of love.

This past Sunday morning I woke up anticipating my visit to the Washington City Mission to hear my good friend Mike Matthews preach. I have long wanted to hear him preach, but I never took advantage of my opportunities. Being the good friend that I claimed to be meant that I should finally take this opportunity. I have had many spirited discussions with Mike about God's word and the Christian faith and from these I knew that he was a passionate man.

Mike's heart screams for God's Word and for chances to proclaim it.

So I knew that hearing him preach would be worth my time. It turned out to be more than that. His sermon brought me to tears. It has been a long time since I heard someone speak with such passion and conviction. Don't get me wrong, I have sit under some preaching that is top notch.

But this sermon was different.

Mike is different.

And not just because he has cerebral palsy.

His sermon came from deep within him. It wasn't part two in a series. It was Mike's heart, Mike's joy, Mike's conviction there in front of you. It was awesome.

So thanks Mike. Thanks for being my brother. Thanks for being God's man.

well, hello again. It has been a while. So much has happened in the last few months, but I won't even try to fill you completely in. Just imagine that while you are reading this you are actually sitting in front of the television on a weekday afternoon and there is nothing but soap operas on. Even though you may have never seen one before, you will get caught up on all of the action before this episode is over.

So here we go.

1. The biggest change in my life happen when I resigned from Life Point on August 15. I reached a point where the neglect of myself and my own discipline was out of control. I reached a point in my life that if some things didn't change, I would suffer more than I already had. Sometimes God needs to shake you a few times to get your attention.

God shook me.

God got my attention.

God changed my life. I miss Life Point. But I know the man I am now is better than the man I had become. Life is so different working 5 days a week. Life is so different going to church and sitting in a pew. Life is so different now. But I like it. I have to give props to our good friends Mike and Robin Matthews! God used them to help Allison and I through this difficult time. We are so in dept to you two!

2. The second biggest change in my life is me going back to school to get a degree in Graphic Design. With my resignation came the opportunity to do anything I wanted to. I reached a point in my life where I could decide to be the same, or do something to make my life better.

I chose the latter. This is an exciting time for me. I am getting an associate degree through an accredited school called Penn Foster College. It is inexpensive and will give me what I need to move on to a BA. From there I plan on going to a seminary and getting a Masters in Theology. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. I finally reached a point in my life where it was either go for it or settle for something I never dreamed of.

I wanted to follow my dreams.

I wanted to walk down a path that will give me the life God desires for me and I desire for myself and my family.

3. Some other big changes are the addition of a mortgage payment and a puppy named Rugby. The house is a simple two story blue house with a nice front porch and beautiful back deck. Rugby is a brown and black mixed coat lab. When Allison picked him out from the Humane Society he was 6 pounds for lovely puppy. 4 months later he is 40 pounds of chewing and farting fun. (And yes it stinks.)

The mortgage payment sucks but the house rocks.

Rugby stinks but he is the smartest puppy I know. And he has Allison and I wrapped around his front paw.

Life is so different now, but is is awesome to be right in the center of God's desire for my life again.

Life is so different now, but life in a new direction is exciting.

That is the soap opera version of my life. I am going to do my best to blog often. But if I don't, know that I want to and wish I did.